The Feminine Pause
Embracing Rest to Reclaim Our Power
When I met my husband, I was clear about how I wanted to mother our future children. I told him I would stop working once we had kids until they were old enough for school. I wanted to be there for every milestone—to drop them off, pick them up, cook them homemade dinners, and hear all about their day. I was only 17, but I knew how I wanted to mother, and it was nonnegotiable.
Growing up, I watched my mother juggle giving birth to six kids in twelve years, all while constantly working. She started as a seamstress to help make ends meet, then went back to school, climbed the career ladder, and achieved success. Yet, she never stopped working. This was the model of womanhood I knew, but it didn’t feel right to me. I didn’t want my children to experience the same.
So, I created my schedule around my children’s. I worked, hosted, mothered, worked, went back to school, earned certificates, and climbed the career ladder. I felt the success, but I also felt the burnout coming for a while. I pushed myself to do more, take more courses, make more money, while balancing it all, but not once stopping to pause.
Yes, I took vacations, self-care days, and nights out with friends, but those were just short pauses to catch my breath and wind myself back up to keep running. I never paused long enough to honor what my body was telling me—first in small whispers, then in shouts. I ignored the need for the Feminine Pause, the deep desire to rest.
Women are not built like men. We don’t operate in 24-hour cycles like the sun. We are like the moon, ebbing and flowing in monthly rhythms. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Our bodies are brilliant, with built in systems designed to remind us of this natural cycle, yet we often choose to ignore it, pushing ourselves to the brink of exhaustion to prove something—to society, our families, and ourselves. As if we’ll be awarded a medal for how worn out we can become.
Some women might find satisfaction in climbing the ladder of self-martyrdom. Some may have ambitions but believe they need to overwork themselves to “deserve” a vacation or a spa day. But others, like me, start to realize that it’s time to Pause. We don’t have to work ourselves to the bone to deserve rest, travel, or even a spa day. Why do we feel we must prove our worth through endless hard work when we’re not even designed for it?
This realization hit me hard. I needed a real pause—a few weeks, maybe months, or even a year to just be. To stop distracting myself with work, to listen to my body, which I had neglected for so long. I was exhausted, and no wonder—I had been living a life designed for men, not honoring my feminine cycles. I was ready to create more, but there was nothing there. I was barren.
So, I made a promise to myself: no work, no clients for the entire month of August. It was a challenge to quiet the voices in my head—the ones that said I could do both, work and rest; that I needed to earn my rest; that my success depended on the number of clients I had and the money I made; and the sneakiest voice of all: “What will people think?”
But I chose to listen to the truth instead. Success isn’t about how hard we work or how much money we make. It’s about honoring our natural rhythms. Just as a woman nourishes herself and her baby for 9 months during pregnancy, resting to bring new life into the world.
The feminine is built to create and rest in cycles. We need to honor this rhythm, so we can birth new ideas, a new consciousness into the world.
I sit by the beach, my feet buried in the warm sand, the hot sun kissing my face, and the waves crashing in rhythmic harmony. The voices start to nag at me, but I remind them: my body needs to rest. And so I do, embracing the Feminine Pause I so deeply deserve.
As I fully embody my Feminine Pause, I find myself not just resting but also nurturing new ideas. I’ve been allowing them to grow and take shape in their own time, and I can’t wait to share the magic with you when they come to life.
Here are 3 tips on how to reclaim the feminine space:
- Mindful Mornings: Start your day with a slow, intentional morning routine. This could include gentle stretching, sipping tea, practicing gratitude, or setting intentions for the day. Allow yourself to ease into the day rather than rushing.
- Monthly Rest Days: Dedicate the first day of your menstrual cycle to rest and relaxation. Use this time to listen to your body, slow down, and engage in gentle activities like reading, meditating, or taking a long bath.
- Embrace Self-Compassion: Let go of the need to constantly prove yourself or live up to external expectations. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and grace. Recognize that you are enough, just as you are, and that you deserve to be nurtured and cared for—by yourself and others.
By incorporating these strategies and feminine pauses into your life, you can prevent burnout, create a more sustainable balance between work, life, and personal well-being, and stay connected to your inner self while honoring your natural rhythms.
P.S. I’m excited to announce that I have two slots opening in September for my 1:1 EmpowerHer Coaching program! This transformative experience is designed to help you step into your most empowered self. Together, we’ll develop personalized strategies that support your personal and professional growth, giving you the confidence to make bold decisions and take meaningful actions. You’ll learn to create a fulfilling and successful life that honors your feminine essence, allowing you to live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
If you’re ready to connect and explore how this coaching can elevate your life, reach out for a free 20 minute consultation call to secure your spot.
